"alone i love
alone i hate
alone i can be
alone i am .."
There I am standing ….all alone…no one , absolutely no one around me…its just me ..n my thoughts. I feel alone but not lonely, I feel sad but not terrible, I feel good but not happy, I feel the chill but not cold, I feel appalling yet not scared, I feel conscious yet ignorant, I feel fluid yet so brittle, I feel the pain but not the scar, I feel “I am” yet not ME ….
I see doors …n doors ..more doors …they are all around me. Its as if I am stuck in a infinite space full of doors and jst them. All that lies between me and them is void & emptiness. I try counting them but I lose count of them. Which one should I pick and which one to leave. The one which is brightest or the one which is darkest, the one which is farthest or the one which is closest, the one which is open or the one which is closed ….i am scared at the same time inquisitive, what lies beyond those doors…??
But why do I at all need to cull or shun any of these doors…?? Why cnt I jst walk on this void and imbibe the emptiness…?? Why can’t I simply enjoy this nullity without having to embrace any sparkling DOOR….?? Who says that we have to embrace a doors every time we leave one…??
I have been through enough doors in my life, some bright some gloomy. But what’s within each of them is clamour and shear turbulence…and I can hardly hear myself in all this din.
I have lost myself enough times and I can’t afford to lose myself again. So I am happy being outside a door …I am happy being in the void …
I AM happy being MYSELF…….